Tag Archives: healthy relationships

In Honor of Grandsons – 2

It’s been way too long.

I’ve been writing short stories lately – two for an anthology by the Houston chapter of the American Christian Fiction Writers. That was a contest, and my two stories were finalists and chosen to be published in the anthology. That should come out in February, 2016.

I also wrote two short stories (and a third on the way) for an anthology by Jodie Renner, to raise money to help rescue children from child labor in Asia.

And then I’ve written two short stories for grandchildren. I’m finding that to be one of the most rewarding of writing experiences. One was written before the last post for Brooklyn. And the other I just finished and delivered within the past week, for Ethan, the newest addition to the grandchildren.

Ethan is the first child of our second son, Brad, and his wife, Jaymie. We visited them earlier this week in Charlotte, North Carolina. Ethan is a handsome little man. He has dark hair, like his mom, and lots of it. While we were there he spent most of his time eating and sleeping. And he likes to be held. So our special time was holding him while he slept. Such a sweetie. He’s only about 4 weeks old, so we are excited to see how he will interact with us when he is older.

We have one other grandson, Leighton. And he just turned three. In fact, Leighton’s and Ethan’s birthdays are 12 days apart. I’ve written about Leighton in a previous post. And he’s changing quickly with each month. Now wearing glasses, he looks like a little professor. When he was younger, he was so quiet. Now he talks constantly. Wow, he’s changing.

So why do granddads get so excited about grandsons?

I came up with the following reasons:

  1. We see them as the future of our family.
  2. They give us hope that we can start them off in the right direction.
  3. We want to help them avoid the mistakes we made.
  4. We want to avoid the mistakes of grandparenting that we made with parenting.
  5. We can enjoy being with them instead of worrying like a new parent.
  6. We see in them a legacy for the future.
  7. We hope that they can achieve that which we failed to achieve.
  8. They make what we worked for, saved, and built worthwhile. Now we can share it with them.
  9. When they’re young, we get to enjoy the age of innocence all over again.
  10. They remind us of when our children were young.
  11. They will actually listen to us, and hopefully learn from us.
  12. They’re not judgmental.
  13. They’re excited about spending time with us.
  14. And yes…we get to spoil them and send them home.

They are a hope for the future. Enjoy them while you can.

Marriage – Keeping the Bonds Strong

Shopping is a Relationship

This one is for you guys. Here’s some advice that may keep you out of the dog house, which is where I ended up recently.

Women (or most women) love to shop. Many men don’t. And therein lies the conflict. My wife knows I hate shopping, and usually will spare me the torture. My idea of shopping is to research it online, order it online, and get back to doing something more important.

Earlier this week I learned an important lesson in marital relationships. We were shopping for some new chairs. I agreed to go along and help make the decisions. In fact, I actually volunteered. But by the end of the day I was tired. I had a headache. I just wanted to go home and watch the news.

Now my wife and I have always agreed that it is permissible to express how we “feel” when we’re having a “heated discussion.” We don’t attack each other. We don’t make accusations. We just say, “I feel like…” That usually works.

On this occasion it was not the right move. I felt like I had sacrificed to engage in my least favorite activity. I was being honest in expressing how I “felt.” As in, “I feel like I have really sacrificed to engage in this activity which I hate. I feel terrible. I just want to go home.”

Don’t do it this way, guys. We had a very silent, icy trip home. After we had processed things for about fifteen minutes at home, we had a heated discussion on how we “felt.”

What I learned was the following: To wives, our engagement in activities for them (and with them) is an expression of our concern for our relationship. Therefore it is something to be done without complaining. And complaining is received by wives as an expression of lack of concern for the relationship. So it is personal. And shopping is relationship…not an activity to be endured.

So guys, this is one time when the I-can-express-how-I-feel rule does not apply.

I hope this will save you some grief. And women (wow, I’m probably really setting myself up) if I have gotten this wrong, please set me straight. (Constructive criticism, please)

Guys, have you found any other exceptions to the rules, that can keep the rest of us out of the doghouse?